Saturday, March 23, 2013

Groundhog Indicted Over Global Warming

The fact that it is not happening, that is....

"Punxsutawney Phil ‘indicted’ over spring forecast" by Amanda Lee Myers and Mark Scolforo  |  Associated Press, March 23, 2013

CINCINNATI — Famed groundhog Punxsutawney Phil might want to go back into hibernation.

Authorities in still-frigid Ohio have issued an ‘‘indictment’’ of the furry rodent, who predicted an early spring when he didn’t see his shadow after emerging from his western Pennsylvania lair on Feb. 2.

‘‘Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early,’’ Mike Gmoser, the prosecutor in southwestern Ohio’s Butler County, wrote in an official-looking indictment.

Gmoser wrote that Punxsutawney Phil is charged with misrepresentation of spring, which constitutes a felony ‘‘against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio.’’

The penalty Phil faces, Gmoser says — tongue firmly in cheek — is death.

That's how you make a fart-mist sound.

Punxsutawney Phil does not have a listed phone number.

Bill Deeley, president of the Punxsutawney club that organizes Groundhog Day, said Phil has a lawyer and would fight any extradition attempt by Ohio authorities.

Deeley defended his fur-bearing associate and said the death penalty was ‘‘very harsh’’ given the nature of the allegations.

‘‘We’ll have to plead our case one way or the other, but I think we can beat the rap,’’ Deeley said.

The vitriolic backlash on social media to Phil’s dead-wrong prognostication has not gone unnoticed in and around Gobbler’s Knob, Deeley said, and special security precautions were in place.

Related: Globe Buries Spring Snowstorm 

I didn't think I was that harsh. I just wanted an explanation.

Winter has been dragging on in the Buckeye State and surrounding areas.

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Related: Sunday Globe Special: Groundhog Day

The Boston Globe's March of Meteorological Lies

I usually go with the Farmer's Almanac, and they are right far more often than the Globe.